3 in a row, it’s like a Christmas miracle or something…

So, my mom has been steadily replacing furniture since my dad died on the 8th.  She bought an entertainment center on the day she made funeral arrangements and saw chairs  she liked while she was there, so the day after I arrived, we went out to buy those too, and we added the end tables she liked as well.  A couch and additional end tables soon followed (and there is talk of a new area rug and new lampshades).  This is all shopping she and my dad have been talking about, but the time is NOW, which is good.   Couch shopping is apparently suggested for the bereaved and really, anything that removes my dad’s empty chair from the living room is an excellent idea.  As a disabled person, my dad spent a great deal of time in his recliner and it is so. incredibly. empty. right now.

Anyway, I’ve distracted myself from the recipe portion of today’s entertainment.  The current end tables all sport wide drawers or other storage, the new tables do not, so we’ve been working to find new storage space.  My dad inherited his mother’s secretary after she died in1985.  It is a beautiful piece of furniture, but it’s been more or less a shrine–my parent’s have added a bit to the things it holds, but nothing was removed.  Tonight I suggested we sort Nellie’s things, box the remainder and use the secretary as replacement storage.  We’re still negotiating this, but in the meantime have begun to declutter the secretary’s drawers.  My mother often claims that I am a good deal like Nellie (ok, maybe she complains).  We are both fairly meticulous, we like to iron, and apparently, we shared a mutual love of office supplies and kitschy cookbooks.  How ducky of us both!  The recipe I share is from a book called  “Unusual Old World and American recipes.”  It was produced by Nordic Ware, you know, the pots and pans company?

Anyway, this is a gem, and so worth sharing.  I present to you,  “Sausage Cake!”

• 1 pound pork sausage
• 1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 3 cups sifted all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 cup cold, strong, brewed coffee
• 1 cup raisins
• 1 cup chopped walnuts

Tell me that doesn’t sound tasty and direct from the Old World?

Bon Apetit!

crying santas

phone calls

taps

deli trays

sleep

car repairs

thank you notes

furniture shopping

appointments

jigsaw puzzles

cousins

repeating a dozen times a day, “his date of death is May 8, 2010″

a very empty recliner

beautiful flowers

Shrek

phone calls

donating clothing

polishing his shoes

working to fill the silence.

I won’t lie, the last few weeks have been miserable.  When we aren’t making arrangements or canceling credit cards or writing thank yous, we’re cobbling together my mother’s financial future, and trying to fill the void with games and puzzles and beach outings and furniture shopping, but we’re all still reeling…

I’ll be in Florida for a few more weeks, my mom just isn’t ready to face a quiet house, and Maude love him, Elliott does his very best to prevent that.  We’ll stay with my mom a little longer and then she’ll come stay with us for awhile.  This new relationship with my mom reminds me a great deal of attachment parenting.  All of the things I did to foster attachment weren’t meant to be long term.  We coslept and used a sling and kept our little people close so that they would feel secure and comfortable with autonomy.  I think my mom chafes at her own need to stay close to others right now, but I know she won’t feel this way forever.  In the meantime, I am happy to be close, happy to provide what she needs, knowing that she’ll feel more comfortably independent when she’s ready.

I want to thank each one of you for the thoughts and prayers and emails and calls and cards.  Your kindness soothes the heartsore;  you have no idea the gratitude I feel for each of you.

I’ll be back soon–I feel so raw, it’s hard to write, but soon I’ll be able to add funny anecdotes, and an umpteenth reminder to support EOR.   Be prepared!

Popping in to share the glory that kept me sane on Saturday.  The Lights of Hope team is a force of nature–I was so proud to be among them that night.

Here’s the post from the EOR blog:

May 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm · Filed under “Lights of Hope” Auction, AHOPE for.

Children, Advisory Board Member, Board of Directors, Children’s Heaven, Current Events, Do Something!, Oregon, Toukoul/SOS EE, Water 1st

I’ll be MIA for a few more days it seems.  My dad died while Albert and I were in Portland for the EOR event.  We couldn’t make arrangements to leave yesterday so we attended to our duties at the amazing Lights of Hope event (and by the end of the evening I was feeling considerably more hopeful…such generous people–it was an amazing evening) and flew standby this morning so that we could come home to collect the kids. We’ll start the drive to Florida tomorrow, as soon as we can track down  socks and bathing suits, and return library books and make arrangements for the lawn in our absence.
Too sad to chat much more. I’ll check in after the drive, I think.

Another drop off the edge of the world for me, apparently.  It wasn’t intended, life and all of its accessories seems to have overtaken me.

Tomorrow, Albert & I will celebrate our 15th anniversary by flying to Portland for EOR’s Lights of Hope event.  I love the idea of a weekend away with my one and only, can’t wait to see west coast members of the board, and of course, the event itself will be incredible, as well as busy  but getting ready for some time away from home is always a challenge.

My mom, always generous with her time, has always been the one to stay with the tots.  She was scheduled for this trip too, but my poor dad is in the hospital dealing with some complications of a surgery he had more than 2 weeks ago.  He’s going to be fine, but his need for my mother’s attention definitely trumped mine.  Lucky for us,  Astrid Meklit’s besties have dropped everything to make sure we can go.  THE Joel and Amy are on deck from the time we leave on Thursday until Friday morning and super sitter Angela will take over after that (although Team AJ will return on Saturday evening to spell Angela should she need to drink heavily take a few hours away).

The kids will be fine, the sitters will be, Albert and I will be fine but there’s a lot to prepare. Real life continues with classes and meeting and appointments and lots of EOR duties while I attempt to make everything user-friendly who don’t usually live in my house.

Updating will be light while I am away, but hey, at this point you are used to it.  Off to iron choir clothes (because of course we’re missing Elliott’s spring concert this weekend–yay, good parenting!) find zoo cards, and make salsa.  Ole’ and Happy Day before my anniversary everyone!