Rock To Wind A String Around

Those would be the wise words of Astrid Meklit, not me.  Still, she hits the nail on the head.  Summer has been screeching forward–my dad’s death, Elliott’s decision to go to school, Enkutatash, Dead of Winter, art parties, DC trips, baby showers–a lot to do around these parts.  Instead of exhaustive detail about any of these items (each worthy of several posts, I’m sure) you get…a laundry list.  Woo to the Hoo, lazy me!

My dad’s death:  We followed the month in Florida with a month of my mom here, and initially, I planned another trip to Florida sometime in August, but that isn’t going to happen.  Daily loving phone calls from me also aren’t happening, despite my best intentions.  We’re all muddling forward though–still sad, still missing my dad, but there are lots of happy afternoons too.  We’re trying to entice my mom to stay longer next time by offering her a real bed to sleep in rather than a D-lux air mattress–we’ll see how successful we are.

Elliott’s school decision:  The school decision is not mine, and wasn’t mine to make.  While I think Elliott will be happy with his choice, I’m struggling with it.  Homeschooling, specifically unschooling, makes the most sense to me.  I’ve identified as a homeschooling mother for so long, it feels weird not to be one any longer.  Complicating things are the logistics of this school affair.  It’s been assumed (for about a year now) that Albert would begin working in town for about a year starting in June…then no, wait, it will be August.  Um, no–maybe November. Did we say 2010?  Maybe for a few months in 2011.  It’s all still up in the air, but I really thought Albert would be home for the first year of traditional school, making it less tempting to sneak away for a week in DC from time to time.  I had hoped that his in town schedule would help shape our routine (and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I planned for Albert to do some of the driving–the round trip to school will be a little more than an hour, 2 x a day).  Elliott’s school day doesn’t start until 9, which will make getting AM to preschool on time a challenge as well (really, an impossible dream–she’ll be late unless I can drop Elliott early).  Fencing days will pose an additional challenge–I don’t know how we’ll fit in schoolwork or dinner on Tuesday and Thursday and still achieve a reasonable bedtime.  All kvetching on my part–by mid October, I’m sure I’ll have figured all of this out, and maybe there will be a carpool of some sort to ease the pain.  In the meantime, we’re all enjoying back-to-school shopping for the first time ever.  All of Elliott’s new items are being stored in my closet and Elliott stops by daily to visit his new things, especially his shoes.

Enkutatash:  Scheduled for September 18, the team has a lot left to do.  We’re hoping to host more than 500 people, and there’s still a fair bit of planning to do.  The meeting schedule bumps up from monthly to every other week in August, weekly meetings in September, so we’ll get it all done.  Still, the ‘to-do’ list is a bit daunting…

Dead of Winter gala:  Only 7 months away!  Gathering donations (and additional team members)* for the event at this point.  Once Enkutatash is over, planning will begin in earnest.

art party:  I’ve mentioned it before, I know.  The art party was loads of fun, but EOR is in need of more art.   If you are the parent of a smaller Ethiopian person, please, please, please pop a piece of their art with a mini bio (name, age, a few fun facts) in the mail to EOR’s main address:  2030 SW Christy Ave. Beaverton OR 97005 by FRIDAY.  Sales from art cards generate funds for EOR’s various programs.  We need you (or more specifically, your little person’s masterpieces).

DC trips:  Super hot during this last trip–103 on the very last day!  We managed to have a blast though–4 free concerts, lots of art museums, and more trains than we could count.  We also had dinner with a high school friend of mine, and met some of Albert’s colleagues for dinner and also museum time.  We had such a good time, we’re attempting to squeeze one last trip into the month of August.  A challenge, but we’re up for it!

baby showers:  I’m co-hosting 2 showers in August–one this Saturday, and one on the 21st.  Both mamas, very dear friends,  have waited so long to meet their Ethiopian cuties, it is an honor to plan for these fabulous events, but my time has been so crunched, I’m afraid I won’t do them justice.  These families are among the first 2-trip families.  They were both in Ethiopia last week to see their sweet little ones,  and will return within the next several weeks to bring their guys home.  The showers will be a welcome distraction (the thank you notes–maybe not so much).  Pictures to follow!

That’s it in a nutshell.  Busy-busy,  a little grouchy, but mostly happy.  I wish you all the same!

*If you would like to join the Dead of Winter planning committee, or you’d like to donate an item or items for the event, please let me know. We need You!

So yesterday, I promised some news.

To help prolong the big buildup, I’ve added pictures for your enjoyment.

This is my first reaction to the decision we needed to make…

(not me, but an actor representing me)

For awhile, I dealt with the upcoming decision like this…

even knowing that Albert felt like this:

so, I did a little more of this:

and I came to a decision.

……………………………………………….

……………………………………………………………..

………………………………………………..

Elliott  will attend the Graham Expeditionary Middle School next fall.

He wants you all to know that this is how he feels about it:

I think I’ll feel that way soon too.

……………………….

……………………………….

Wow.   School.   Wow…

Back from our whirlwind trip to Portland where EOR astoundingly made right around $40,000 at our fabulous auction.  We were hoping to make anything, anything at all after expenses and instead, due to the amazing efforts of Kim and Lauren, we’re able to fund the entire purchase of the equipment for the HIV + clinic at SOS/EE, and take care of a few other projects besides.    I think all of the attending board members, as well as a good many guests were moved to tears before the night was over–it was magic watching the success of this night unfold.

Back home late on Sunday night, in time to wake bright and early for a Mother’s Day do-over.   We had a great breakfast (with presents!) and then we took a trip to the zoo.  There were poems and cards, and treats and presents! enough for multiple mothers.   Multiple mothers were talked over and thought of and loved, and yet, at the end of the day, it was my arms that were full, my heart filled with joy, my life filled with good things beyond measure.

Today, we woke early to celebrate another seepy basement wall, and the birth of Edward Lear, the limerick King.   Foundation specialists were called, limericks were written.  I can’t share news, good or bad, about the basement, but I can share limericks, both good and bad instead:

Elliott’s first contribution:

Elliott, a boy we could name

Loves Gameboy, a toy of great fame

When schoolwork is present

He becomes most unpleasant

He’s one who loves only game

My mother’s contribution:

There was an old lady from Kent

Who rode horseback wherever she went

She fell from her horse

(to the ground, of course)

And now has to walk where she’s sent

My contribution:

Astrid Meklit puts us to the test

She hates to lie down for a rest

When it’s time for a nap

She says, “sorry old chap”

I find reading, not sleeping the best

Elliott’s final contribution:

My dad is fond of long runs

He finds them a great deal of fun

But he’s called oft’ to work

by a variety of jerks

Who feel that his job is undone.

Happy Limerick Day!

I simultaneously have a dozen or so things to do and absolutely no drive to do any of them.  I think I might be overwhelmed.  Although I can multi-task with the best of them, my to-do list seems unending, and everything seems to need equal attention (or at least stamina).  I need to find my Go-Lite.  Albert put it away when we came back from DC and I never remember to ask him where he put it.  Maybe I’ll do a search later tonight–it would be supremely helpful tomorrow morning–this time change thing is for the birds.

A list of my current obsessions (the ones I must attend to, and the ones I want to attend to and usually do anyway…):

Big Love–why are there only 2 more episodes this season?  There’s so little on TV for me to love.  Big Love has been amazing this season, and now it’s going away in two weeks…

Coming up with money-making schemes for EOR:  Ethiopian Orphan Relief is on an never-ending quest for additional funds.  Lots of grant reviewing these days, coupled with trying to track down money for store orders.

Cutting for Stone:  A fabulous book about Ethiopia, and doctors, and love.  My sweet friend Kate recommended it and it was an incredible read.   I thought I would mention it here since so many of you love Ethiopia too.

Dressing  my house:  some rooms seem empty, some, too full.  I’ve been rearranging, purchasing new accessories, making table runners and wall hangings, and oh yes,  covering paperbacks in brown paper.  I shop often, because I am cheap and always looking for the best deal.  My house looks much cuter, but it’s been a time-consuming effort, and new items related to house-dressing pop up as quickly as I erase something else from the list.

Educating Elliott:  Lately I feel like we could be doing a good bit more, so I’m trying to add new and exciting learning experiences for the boy.  We’re making progress, but it really does take a good chunk out of the day and he requires so much more guidance with the new work.

Planning Enkutatash/Enqutatash 2001:  the steering committee needs additional help, so we’re asking members of Ethiohio to join us in prepping for 2001.  The Ethiohio kickoff meeting will be a dinner at my house next week.

Scheduling appointments: Suddenly, we all need maintenance appts–dentists, doctors, orthodontists, garage door specialists–they’re all on the docket.

I’m also researching a new car,  a vacation for the four of us? (kind of iffy, but it’s the funnest thing to obsess about…) and various other items that should not be mentioned at this time.  Ooh, so mysterious!

Once I’m more level-headed (or perhaps just on the other side of a therapeutic light session with the Go Lite) I’ll post something slightly more entertaining, like a list of diseases that have gone out of vogue.  Dropsy, anyone?

Sorry for my absentee status.  While the drive home on Friday felt like the longest in the history of the universe, it wasn’t 4 days worth of travel.

Saturday plunged us back into real life–laundry, taxes, grocery shopping, cabinet reorganization–all of the thrills that accompany a jet-setting lifestyle like mine.  By 5:00 we were smug and self-righteous about the number of things crossed off our “to-do” list, so we took the kids to the OSU men’s gymnastics meet.  It’s such a  great family activity.  We all like to watch the mans fip again and again, Elliott loves the snacks, Astrid Meklit likes the pep band, and Albert & I enjoy watching others cross things off their “to-do’” lists.  Elliott caught a lobbed t-shirt early in the meet, which made his life complete.

Sunday was an eerie repeat of Saturday, right down to the grocery shopping.  We exchanged the gymnastics event for Family Night with the ethiohio group at Abyssinia, and while there was no pep band or free t-shirts, we all had a terrific time.  Our ethiohio group is growing so quickly, there are new families at each event.  I met with the Enqutatash steering committee yesterday and we agreed that the bench is deep–plenty of talent to help put together a great New Year celebration which will be a welcome contrast to last year’s celebration.

We ended our committee meeting early yesterday so I could go pick up my “Mother of the Year” award.  As soon as everyone left, I hustled my tots into shoes and coats, packed up the diaper bag and patted myself on the back twice as I pulled into the rec center parking lot at 3:59.  As is customary on cold days, I dropped Elliott at the door and reminded him to walk right into his class, pick you up in the vestibule in an hour, love you, go, go you’re going to be late, etc.  Standard fare at the rec center.  AM and I watched him walk in and left to run some of our errands.  We stopped at the paint store first–I needed to match the paint to the main bath’s vanity.  My touch up job two weeks ago was done in the wrong color so I stood in line, eager to pay 22.00 a quart for the best paint match Benjamin Moore could muster.  Horrified as I pulled my credit card from my wallet, my horror evaporated (and was quickly replaced) when my cell phone rang.  My sweet boy didn’t have class until 5:00 and he had to ask the registration desk for my cell #–he doesn’t know it.  Astrid Meklit and I grabbed the paint and flew back to the rec center.  Elliott said he was fine, but I felt terrible.  I always feel a little guilty dropping him at the door, but I know better than to do it for the initial class.  Times change, classes get canceled, mothers neglect to look at the class start (and end time).  If the enticing playground wasn’t visible from inside the center, we’d go in with him everyday, but i just wasn’t up for a fight with Madame Two about the relative merits (or lack thereof) of playing outside when it’s 22 degrees and windy.

Today my sweet boy has homeschool choir–same class, same time, same room all year long.  I think I’ll walk him in just in case.  No need to wrest the award away from someone else 2 days in a row.

So many people have asked me about homeschooling, and truly, I don’t mean to be evasive; I just never know what to say.  I knew early on, before Elliott was three, that he would find school challenging.  Not academically, mind you, instead I knew that Elliott’s very notion of self would be confronted and often found lacking in a school setting.  Too many sensory issues, too many demands on attention, too bright, too brown, too male–it all seemed to add up to a challenging sum.

While I wasn’t opposed to homeschooling,  I had always planned to seek a public education (albeit in some fabulous magnet school) for Elliott.  I was a teacher, I value public education, and my own memories of school, elementary in particular are pleasant and affirming.  I looked forward to golden fall days full of new notebooks and a cute lunch pail, I thought of Scholastic Book orders, show and tell, and art class, and couldn’t wait to be room mother for holiday parties.  As Elliott grew from clingy toddler to high-energy preschooler,  homeschooling was in the back of my mind though.  I talked to his speech therapist and occupational therapist about it and they agreed that a classroom might not be the best fit for my tot.  I wasn’t completely sure that home schooling was necessary until Elliott aged out of the early intervention program.  He was offered services in the preschool setting and although we initially refused them,  we decided to enroll him for 6 weeks (right before we left Chicago for Philadelphia so that we could activate his IEP).  I went to preschool with him for those 6 weeks and was convinced that homeschooling would be the best for my sweet boy.  For the entire 6 weeks he was enrolled (2 days a week, 2.5 hours a day) and for several months after, his poor sensory system took a beating.  He would keep it together at school only to fall apart at home if a lego clattered to the wood floor, or the neighbor’s dog barked in the alley, or I cooked something with a strong aroma for dinner.  Although there was little new being taught to him in the preschool classroom, he had a hard time demonstrating knowledge of anything, even the familiar in the classroom.  Every bit of energy seemed focused on managing, there was no room for learning or participating.

A bit wistful as the official start of kindergarten came and went and we began homeschooling in earnest, we found we were well-suited to homeschooling.  Rather than choose a curriculum and adhere to it religiously,  we made sure to have quality toys, books, and art materials available and  made liberal use of the library and museums in Philadelphia.  We joined a homeschooling group in our neighborhood, took some classes (both for homeschoolers and for the general population) and catered to Elliott’s particular interests and talents by strewing.   By the start of first grade, I had no regrets about the choice to homeschool. Elliott was thriving, the disparity in his abilities mattered little (he’s a fabulous math student, but lagged badly in reading, etc. for the first few years), and most importantly, his sense of Elliott remained in tact.

Now that Elliott’s a little older, we’ve modified his school day a bit.  He was incredibly self-directed until he turned 8 ish, but now needs help in setting goals, and in learning new material.     Age 8 was really the first year that I required him to produce paperwork on a regular basis.  Now sitting down to seatwork is second nature.  Although Elliott still has plenty of time for building, drawing, and independent reading, he is asked to work on a spelling list, do geography, practice arithmetic and build new math skills, and do some creative writing every day.  Occasionally, I’ll get anxious because we’ve ignored a curriculum area or he doesn’t seem to “get it” when we work on something new, but I find that giving him time is often the best remedy.  Just today, I asked him to report the basic facts of Groundhog Day to me in a short report and his effort blew me away.  Attention to detail, terrific spelling and punctuation and an amazing picture of a groundhog (including pictures of alfafa and clover–a groundhog’s primary diet) were the result.  With years of minimal teaching on my part, Elliott is working at or above grade level in every area (save spelling.  The boy, he cannot spell although even in spelling we’ve seen vast improvement over the last 6 months,  hmmm…)

As Elliott grows older, there is no question that homeschooling is the right choice for him.  Solitary schoolwork balanced by classes (both with homeschoolers and school kids) makes sense.  Although I still won’t call us a homeschooling family (we homeschool Elliott, but aren’t necessarily planning to do so for Astrid Meklit) the joy we experience because of homeschooling is immeasurable.  We have time to travel, work on projects for extended periods of time, and enjoy each other because we aren’t attached to a school calendar.  It isn’t the right choice for everyone, but it definitely works for us, and while I’m occasionally still wistful about what he’s missing in school, I’m usually thrilled about what we’ve gained in return.

My friend died today.  I knew it was coming, have known for months that she would not be here for New Year, and yet the news,  it has shaken me to my core.

I’m so grateful to have known her, this friend who personified grace under fire. The world will be a much emptier place for her mother,  her boys,  for all of us who loved her.

cancer really is that painful…

On the road to Chicago for one more glorious week before we return to the  busy schedule of fall.   One of my favorite things about homeschooling is the flexibility of our schedules, but now that Elliott is older, he’s got a full complement of homeschool activities as well as the work we ask him to do.  I’m glad he’s a busy dude, but it does make it hard to sneak away for trips, so one more lovely week in the city by the lake.  We’re eager to visit our friends, Brandy & Erik, with their sweet boy Jacob, and we’re hoping to meet some Ethio-pals, like Nancy.

 
It should be noted that both Nancy and Zufan’s mama were kind enough to link to the excitement that is EOR, so they both win fabulous prizes.  i hope I can deliver Nancy’s in person, Zufan’s mama email me so I can mail you your gifty!

As April is National Poetry Month, I gathered a lot of poetry-making supplies at the library at the very end of March. We’ve always been poetry readers here, we share several poems daily–and as Elliott has gotten bigger it’s been no small thrill to observe him as he memorizes various poems. His first was ‘F is the Fighting Firetruck’ at age four, but many have followed since. With all of this emphasis on poetry enjoyment, it’s been sad and a little surprising to me that perfectionist boy has been reluctant to write his own verses.

As interested in what I’m doing as he is in anything else, Elliott loves to read over my shoulder while I visit my favorite blogs. Lately, I’ve made sure to pull up Amy’s whenever he hangs over my shoulder. Amy takes National Poetry Month seriously (as we all should!) and has offered lots of helpful activities for letting the poetry flow. After a few days of checking out the awesome third eye pictures, Elliott asked if he might do the same but I was terribly non-committal. Nothing seems to chase the muse away faster than some excitement on my part. A day or so later, I began to work on my own superlative poems. Elliott swore he could write them too, but again, I was boldly doubtful (and  yes, it was a purposeful lack of enthusiasm). I finally suggested that maybe, just maybe, Elliott could try one with some assistance from me. He agreed, and this was his initial attempt:

Gremlins

The scariest things in the world are gremlins

They are green like guts

They smell like a rotten mango

They make me feel like peeing my pants

It’s the quintessential 9 year old boy poem! After we wrote a few more together, I thought he’d be finished, but he enjoyed writing poetry so much, he’s become the Walt Whitman of the playground set. It took him awhile to channel his emotions into his verse, but by Sunday night, I think he figured it out. See below:

Daddy

The worst thing in the world is Albert

He follows through with things

and he’s red with fury.

After being denied a movie outing, Elliott shared this little gem with us. Other poems have followed, but this one is definitely a keeper.

We’ll be trying a new form tomorrow, but we’ll probably keep those to ourselves. If we share all of the glee here, we’ll never find a decent publisher. Yes, Elliott has given up his dreams of being a professional runner (or skater) to become a professional poet. Glad he’ll be able to support me in my old age…

Can I just say how nice it is to be back in a place where everybody knows my name?  I’ve really missed having a community in the past year.  We’ve met some lovely people in the Bay Area, and some have become really wonderful friends, but all the same, I’ve missed my day-to-day network.  I feel like George Bailey, I really did have a wonderful life in pretty little Cowtown (not that I ever doubted it).    As I watched Elliott settle in to the familiar routine of homeschool gym and ice-skating, I saw Astrid pilfer M’s banana after crawling all over the hall to watch the big kids have fun–Elliott caught up with kids, Astrid made friends with everybody, and I had to work hard, very hard not to cry at the good fortune of it all…