Rock To Wind A String Around

Those would be the wise words of Astrid Meklit, not me.  Still, she hits the nail on the head.  Summer has been screeching forward–my dad’s death, Elliott’s decision to go to school, Enkutatash, Dead of Winter, art parties, DC trips, baby showers–a lot to do around these parts.  Instead of exhaustive detail about any of these items (each worthy of several posts, I’m sure) you get…a laundry list.  Woo to the Hoo, lazy me!

My dad’s death:  We followed the month in Florida with a month of my mom here, and initially, I planned another trip to Florida sometime in August, but that isn’t going to happen.  Daily loving phone calls from me also aren’t happening, despite my best intentions.  We’re all muddling forward though–still sad, still missing my dad, but there are lots of happy afternoons too.  We’re trying to entice my mom to stay longer next time by offering her a real bed to sleep in rather than a D-lux air mattress–we’ll see how successful we are.

Elliott’s school decision:  The school decision is not mine, and wasn’t mine to make.  While I think Elliott will be happy with his choice, I’m struggling with it.  Homeschooling, specifically unschooling, makes the most sense to me.  I’ve identified as a homeschooling mother for so long, it feels weird not to be one any longer.  Complicating things are the logistics of this school affair.  It’s been assumed (for about a year now) that Albert would begin working in town for about a year starting in June…then no, wait, it will be August.  Um, no–maybe November. Did we say 2010?  Maybe for a few months in 2011.  It’s all still up in the air, but I really thought Albert would be home for the first year of traditional school, making it less tempting to sneak away for a week in DC from time to time.  I had hoped that his in town schedule would help shape our routine (and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I planned for Albert to do some of the driving–the round trip to school will be a little more than an hour, 2 x a day).  Elliott’s school day doesn’t start until 9, which will make getting AM to preschool on time a challenge as well (really, an impossible dream–she’ll be late unless I can drop Elliott early).  Fencing days will pose an additional challenge–I don’t know how we’ll fit in schoolwork or dinner on Tuesday and Thursday and still achieve a reasonable bedtime.  All kvetching on my part–by mid October, I’m sure I’ll have figured all of this out, and maybe there will be a carpool of some sort to ease the pain.  In the meantime, we’re all enjoying back-to-school shopping for the first time ever.  All of Elliott’s new items are being stored in my closet and Elliott stops by daily to visit his new things, especially his shoes.

Enkutatash:  Scheduled for September 18, the team has a lot left to do.  We’re hoping to host more than 500 people, and there’s still a fair bit of planning to do.  The meeting schedule bumps up from monthly to every other week in August, weekly meetings in September, so we’ll get it all done.  Still, the ‘to-do’ list is a bit daunting…

Dead of Winter gala:  Only 7 months away!  Gathering donations (and additional team members)* for the event at this point.  Once Enkutatash is over, planning will begin in earnest.

art party:  I’ve mentioned it before, I know.  The art party was loads of fun, but EOR is in need of more art.   If you are the parent of a smaller Ethiopian person, please, please, please pop a piece of their art with a mini bio (name, age, a few fun facts) in the mail to EOR’s main address:  2030 SW Christy Ave. Beaverton OR 97005 by FRIDAY.  Sales from art cards generate funds for EOR’s various programs.  We need you (or more specifically, your little person’s masterpieces).

DC trips:  Super hot during this last trip–103 on the very last day!  We managed to have a blast though–4 free concerts, lots of art museums, and more trains than we could count.  We also had dinner with a high school friend of mine, and met some of Albert’s colleagues for dinner and also museum time.  We had such a good time, we’re attempting to squeeze one last trip into the month of August.  A challenge, but we’re up for it!

baby showers:  I’m co-hosting 2 showers in August–one this Saturday, and one on the 21st.  Both mamas, very dear friends,  have waited so long to meet their Ethiopian cuties, it is an honor to plan for these fabulous events, but my time has been so crunched, I’m afraid I won’t do them justice.  These families are among the first 2-trip families.  They were both in Ethiopia last week to see their sweet little ones,  and will return within the next several weeks to bring their guys home.  The showers will be a welcome distraction (the thank you notes–maybe not so much).  Pictures to follow!

That’s it in a nutshell.  Busy-busy,  a little grouchy, but mostly happy.  I wish you all the same!

*If you would like to join the Dead of Winter planning committee, or you’d like to donate an item or items for the event, please let me know. We need You!

We’re back from our month in Florida and are slowly settling back into our real lives.  Normalcy is creeping in as I begin to plan Enkutatash and the Dead of Winter event, shop for groceries, reschedule our many canceled appointments and weed, weed, weed. The lack of fencing lessons removes a good bit of the structure of our regular week, but fencing camp begins Monday.  In the meantime, we’ve filled in the gaps with haircuts, cookie baking, and the aforementioned weeding (seriously, the well-manicured beauty of our yard became a jungle in our absence.

Grief is a funny shape.  Blogging has become non-existent, my insomnia seems pretty reigned in, what with the need to sleep for 7-8 hours at a time (maybe too much contentment = insomnia?  because it hasn’t been a problem since the beginning of May, and my nutritional plan has relied all too heavily on the sugar group. The sleep is a plus, the sugar and lack of communication with the outside world is a big minus, but I’m hoping for more balance in the next few weeks.  In the meantime, friendly faces and some time on the treadmill seems to be good for what ails me.  Yard saling helps too–the kids and I bounced around the north part of Cowtown for most of the morning.  My wallet is a little lighter, but so is my heart.

crying santas

phone calls

taps

deli trays

sleep

car repairs

thank you notes

furniture shopping

appointments

jigsaw puzzles

cousins

repeating a dozen times a day, “his date of death is May 8, 2010″

a very empty recliner

beautiful flowers

Shrek

phone calls

donating clothing

polishing his shoes

working to fill the silence.

I won’t lie, the last few weeks have been miserable.  When we aren’t making arrangements or canceling credit cards or writing thank yous, we’re cobbling together my mother’s financial future, and trying to fill the void with games and puzzles and beach outings and furniture shopping, but we’re all still reeling…

I’ll be in Florida for a few more weeks, my mom just isn’t ready to face a quiet house, and Maude love him, Elliott does his very best to prevent that.  We’ll stay with my mom a little longer and then she’ll come stay with us for awhile.  This new relationship with my mom reminds me a great deal of attachment parenting.  All of the things I did to foster attachment weren’t meant to be long term.  We coslept and used a sling and kept our little people close so that they would feel secure and comfortable with autonomy.  I think my mom chafes at her own need to stay close to others right now, but I know she won’t feel this way forever.  In the meantime, I am happy to be close, happy to provide what she needs, knowing that she’ll feel more comfortably independent when she’s ready.

I want to thank each one of you for the thoughts and prayers and emails and calls and cards.  Your kindness soothes the heartsore;  you have no idea the gratitude I feel for each of you.

I’ll be back soon–I feel so raw, it’s hard to write, but soon I’ll be able to add funny anecdotes, and an umpteenth reminder to support EOR.   Be prepared!

Popping in to share the glory that kept me sane on Saturday.  The Lights of Hope team is a force of nature–I was so proud to be among them that night.

Here’s the post from the EOR blog:

May 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm · Filed under “Lights of Hope” Auction, AHOPE for.

Children, Advisory Board Member, Board of Directors, Children’s Heaven, Current Events, Do Something!, Oregon, Toukoul/SOS EE, Water 1st

Another drop off the edge of the world for me, apparently.  It wasn’t intended, life and all of its accessories seems to have overtaken me.

Tomorrow, Albert & I will celebrate our 15th anniversary by flying to Portland for EOR’s Lights of Hope event.  I love the idea of a weekend away with my one and only, can’t wait to see west coast members of the board, and of course, the event itself will be incredible, as well as busy  but getting ready for some time away from home is always a challenge.

My mom, always generous with her time, has always been the one to stay with the tots.  She was scheduled for this trip too, but my poor dad is in the hospital dealing with some complications of a surgery he had more than 2 weeks ago.  He’s going to be fine, but his need for my mother’s attention definitely trumped mine.  Lucky for us,  Astrid Meklit’s besties have dropped everything to make sure we can go.  THE Joel and Amy are on deck from the time we leave on Thursday until Friday morning and super sitter Angela will take over after that (although Team AJ will return on Saturday evening to spell Angela should she need to drink heavily take a few hours away).

The kids will be fine, the sitters will be, Albert and I will be fine but there’s a lot to prepare. Real life continues with classes and meeting and appointments and lots of EOR duties while I attempt to make everything user-friendly who don’t usually live in my house.

Updating will be light while I am away, but hey, at this point you are used to it.  Off to iron choir clothes (because of course we’re missing Elliott’s spring concert this weekend–yay, good parenting!) find zoo cards, and make salsa.  Ole’ and Happy Day before my anniversary everyone!

• You spend your days playing with your children, tending your garden, working outside of the home, starting a business — not walking miles to your only water source
• Your children go to school every day, instead of walking miles to their only water source
• You have no threat of water borne diseases, such as cholera, typhoid, bacillary dysentery, polio, meningitis and hepatitis A
• You don’t have to worry that people up river are using your only water source as their only sanitation source
• You will not lose your child to diarrhea, which is the leading cause of death of children in countries with high mortality rates.  And you will not worry that even if your child survives diarrhea, he or she will fail to thrive and become vulnerable to other infections

I know that before my trip to Ethiopia I took water for granted.  I had heard about the issues people in developing countries face regarding water, but had never really thought about it.  Now I think every day about what my daughter’s life would be like if she lived somewhere that did not have access to safe, clean water.  I cry when I read posts about the 5 million children who die every year from diarrhea.  My heart aches when I think about the women who cannot start a business, or work in a farm to support their families, because they spend so much time each day walking to and from their water sources- which are often times infected with bacteria.

Please consider donating to EOR’s water first program.  You can do so here.  Our $10,000 pledged donation will literally provide clean water to an entire village.   We can do this, but we need your help.

posted to the EOR blog by  my brilliant friend Shawn

A small laundry list for you to peruse:

This is the prettiest spring I’ve ever witnessed in the midwest.  Everything is in bloom, plants I gave up for dead are springing to life after 2 years of dormancy, etc.  I’ve mentioned the yard of Mary Poppins many times before, usually in conjunction with the major amount of upkeep it entails, but really, it is stunning–I’m SO glad we live here.

Elliott’s bff/future wife was here for the weekend from West Virginia.  The goddaughter of our friends, Scott & Jim, we met E last summer when she was here for a few weeks.  Bored with the antics of the three year olds at S & J’s, she began to spend hours here–she and Elliott are thick as thieves.  A Columbus Day weekend visit was scuttled, resulting in an 8 month separation.  Her family was here for the weekend, and lucky us, we wrangled a sleepover so E squared had lots of time together.  A summer week is in the planning stages and it can’t come too soon.  I can’t imagine that they’ll enjoy one another’s company this much for much longer, but at this stage, they are totally simpatico.

My birthday party was mentioned, but not discussed.  Sweet Elliott decided to surprise me with a party on my birthday.  An Enkutatash meeting was already scheduled for the 7th, so I wasn’t sure what he could cook up, but he managed to:  a.  ask people to bring dinner, including another Edible Arrangement  b.  invite people not on the planning committee to the event  c.  order flowers and decorate for the party and d.  keep the whole thing more or less secret.  He even managed to bake a gf birthday cake, although I knew he was doing that.  It was all very sweet and thoughtful, if a bit chaotic.  He now thinks he might be a party planner when he becomes an adult.

Astrid Meklit, loquacious and charming, has been VERY funny lately.  She has the vocabulary of a much older child, but the pronunciation skills of a three year old which adds to the mirth.

I did her hair in braids with big ballies on the end this week, and she made up a joke about it:

“Why do I have duck hair?”

Um, I don’t know, why do you have duck hair?

“Because when I walk my hair goes quack-quack.” (the ballies clack-clack when they bang together)

We were talking about clothes the other day, who has pants in our family, who has sweaters, who has skirts, etc.  AM is the only family member with dog underpants, but not the only one in the family with a tutu.  Apparently, daddy has a tutu around his leg and on his arm.  Others might call it a tattoo, but whatever…

The other night, Elliott allowed Astrid Meklit to help with the dishes (oh, the joy!).  Elliott asked if she liked that idea, and she yelled, “cool beets!”  Elliott tried to convince her  (loudly) that the expression is “cool beans” which made her yell “cool beets” that much louder.  It was funnier than it sounds in print.  Really.

I’m off to weed and weed, and maybe….weed.    Cool beets!

Hey kittens!  Go share some love with Ali and posse. Their sweet family of three became a sweeter family of four today.

It’s time for another shower, I think!

Good news abounds here on the internets.  Go share some joy and love with some of our California pals.

Hooray–such good news!